first snow

Bob and I have this little "joke" we play out for impending winter weather. He gets this serious smirk trying not to smile face and says in his trying not to laugh voice something like, "Um, mom... I'm very sorry to tell you this, but..." and I'll start with my look of horror and the corners of his mouth will jump up and down as he tries harder not to smile, "...but, mom, it's going to SNOW this weekend." And before he can even finish I bellow a desperate, "Nooooooo!"

Or we'll be playing outside and a cold wind will pick up and we'll look at each other, and he'll tilt his head to the side with his not-smile, and I'll cry out in a moan at the top of my lungs, "Wiiiinteeeeeerrrr!" And the crazy laughter that follows keeps me from crying. And my dramatics are the joke but they're actually not that far from the real sounds I'm making in my own head.

Whereas I am afraid of the cold, Owen is afraid of being separated from his Legos. He is hilarious and in general tries to be a good sport about anything -- declaring that cold snowy weather is his favorite! despite the fact that last winter we could hardly drag him outside until snow turned to mud.



But truth be told, even I can't resist the lure of the first snow. Truth be told again, this wasn't even a real snow, just a dusting. It came down in flurries and then in tiny snowballs and then in bigger clumps, and all three littles were out romping and tasting. Maisy is actually the easiest one out the door-- as soon as I mention the possibility she goes running to the sun room to collect her shoes and coat.




There's undeniable magic in it, that first snow of the year... and snow in general, and water in general! And even I at 31 years and self-professed hater of winter (not necessarily December but definitely January and February... and usually March...) even I can't help but marvel, and get a little giddy, at this particular miracle of our planet.





I won't be the first to say that as a parent the wonder is doubled, but it's true. It's not just being a parent, though-- it's being human I think. It's looking through a lens, it's painting a portrait, it's the recording of scientific experiments or baby milestones.


It's the intently observing of another human and of the earth, of deeply wanting to know more. It's caring for another person or thing, and trying to view things though another perspective. It's taking our new perspective and processing it, and then offering it up to God or to others-- even on Instagram! There are so many ways to double your wonder.

Or triple your wonder, as in my case.


These little humans who love each other just because they belong to each other-- they move me.

They make me open my eyes wide, crouch down low, take a second look at the moment, hold it tighter.

They take me back to my earliest days when the world was so new and that is magic -- but I've found the magic in other experiences too.

I find it in the crunching of leaves and the delight of fresh snow and in the last bit of golden light and in friends to whom I can say I'm lonely, and they'll say I'm lonely too.

Sometimes the magic is in going back in time or catching glimpses of myself way back when... but mostly it's about the present and the magic of them now and the gripping grace by which this life is given me. It's looking into their faces and seeing the wonder of these marvelously new human beings -- and having the opportunity to share in it... my words don't do it justice.

Snow frosted leaves and golden sun but the most beautiful part is my little one.

xo, a.

PS. I recently watched this TED talk which was very inspirational to me and perhaps to some of my words here. So worth your time -- have a watch and become a part of the artwork.

PPS. I really need to move my blog, because it looks simply awful on mobile and I don't even know what blogger is doing to my images. One of these days... :/

Live on the Lake in the Berkshires

We finally made it to Live on the Lake! (For the very last concert of the summer.) We've had it on our list to go but for one reason or another kept putting it off... so last night was our last chance, and nothing would stop us!  We met up with Ben after work and I performed an amazing parking maneuver and the adventure was on.  Maisy Lou was so happy to be someplace new -- it's totally her jam, just checking everything and everyone out. So content and friendly and fun, this one.


Pittsfield people watching is pretty grand -- I brought my fancy camera fully anticipating taking photos of strangers.

Also spectacular: the Onota Lake sunsets.

And if that weren't enough, there was a bit of divine providence on our timing... look who we bumped into!  And, better yet -- got to spend the evening with!!  Bobby jumped up into Chloe's arms, wrapped his legs around her waist and his arms around her neck and did't let go for five minutes. I could've collapsed into a puddle of tears, but had my trusty lens to filter the scene through.  Oh, how I've been missing this girl.

We ate some crazy good food from Lucia's Latin Kitchen -- and probably I should've taken a photo of the kebobs and rice instead of the empty plates, but I was starving apparently!

The band was Madison Ave (I heard a rumor that the lead singer was the winner of "Berkshire Idol" although I didn't know that was a thing...) and they played mostly (or all) covers, which was cool with me because they finished off with a couple of my jams. (Yup I just said "jam" again and I'm rolling with it.) (And I'm rolling with all the parentheses too because I just love grammar, that's why.)

We got ice cream of course (I think we've each eaten our weight in ice cream this summer-- whoops). Maisy is well-versed in the routine; she starts freaking out the moment she sees the list of flavors.

We lingered as the sun set and walked back to the car, and three fell asleep still slightly sticky in the backseat on the drive home.

Summer ain't over yet -- here's to making the most of our final days of freedom!

a rare and precious treasure: maisy lou is one

Our girl, she's one year old.
Actually she's now fourteen months just about, because I am that slow.  Almost two months slow.  And I am kicking myself -- so stinking mad at myself -- for not getting here more often to write about Maisy Lou and her first year.  But such is life, and I will write what I can.

Part of the problem has been me being busy with other good stuff and part of it's been me dragging my feet about writing this post because-- well how can I do it justice really? How can I hope to sum up our sweet little baby one and this year of getting to know my daughter in mere words? I can barely even begin. It's a good thing I'm here to type and not to speak because my love for this little soul causes a big lump in my throat when I get right down to it.

Right about now Maisy-girl is way too quickly morphing from baby to toddler and I wish time would just stand still for a month or so to let me soak up this stage a bit more.  (Or maybe we could rewind just a few weeks to before she learned to brave the stairs and then hit pause, because it ain't easy keeping tabs on that quick little crawling.  She's gotten sneaky about it-- instead of yelling at the bottom of the stairs and on her way up --like "heeeeyyy! isn't someone going to stop me?"-- she makes her way up quietly now so that she won't be stopped.)  So yes, other than staircase menacing, and bathroom menacing, and lego menacing, and particularly mealtime menacing, I'd say having a one year old around is pure delight.

I think (I hope!) I've got some of Maisy's baby milestones in my journal, but I'm honestly unsure.

I do know that she broke her first tooth at six months, just before Thanksgiving, and the second shortly thereafter, and now she has quite a few and more coming and I've totally lost count. I think she was around nine or ten months when she really started saying 'dada' and 'mama' -- one of my favorite moments, I was holding Maisy and the neighbors were asking if she was saying mama yet and she loudly interjected, "Ma-MA!" Yes I am and this is my mama!! Perfect demonstration of baby brilliance.

Soon after that she added her third word -- "bubba" for "baby" -- she says it for "brother" or "bobby" or "boobies" and even refers to dogs with an emphatic "buh" or "bubbah" now so it's pretty much her go-to these days.



She first started clapping right around her first birthday, and climbing the stairs and up onto the little chairs, and now she is climbing everything she possibly can and trying to climb to places she can't possibly.

Also right around the one year mark... she started needing the pre-bed silly time in a serious way. She wanted to ditch dinnertime early and get upstairs for snuggles and sillies, and she's a little more patient about getting there now but she still won't go to sleep without a good dose of the crazies on the beds first. Before her first birthday I nursed her to sleep pretty much every single night, but suddenly at one she was able to fight it a bit more... Nowadays she has her sillying and her nursing and then Ben rocks her to sleep most nights while I snuggle and story the boys.

Maisy isn't as glued to me as the boys always were, but I do love how she clings onto me now when someone else tries to take her from me, like ummm NO, I am staying right here with my mother thank you very much. Just one of the perks that comes along with the long hours.

I am uber-grateful for Instagram for helping me document these little things a lot more regularly. It kinda --gasp!-- makes me wish I had broken the ol' flip phone a little sooner. Because there are so many things that have slipped away already without my noticing. Like, when did the baby monster start crawling around the floor vent in the hall instead of trying to lick it all day? When did she completely shun all forms of babyish food? I've no idea when she started waving, or signing "eat" with her cutie little fingers. (Blowing kisses is pretty new.) And when did she suddenly change into this little person who can hang with her big brothers?

Maisy's first birthday-- goodness it was a while ago. The weekend before the big day, we had a little celebration out in Red Hook...

{Thank you, Kara, for the pics. And thank you all my loves in RH for the sweet little party and gifts and please just pretend you received the thank you notes and they were lovely.}

And then on Maisy Lou's actual birthday, we had a little celebration at Crispy Cones (which Owen will forever remember as the time he got to play with Duplos at the ice cream shop-- a dream come true)


{Thank you, Grandmother, for the cheesecake. And thank you everyone else for coming and also please just pretend you received the thank you notes and they were lovely.}

These one-year-old days are sweet I tell you, and I am cherishing them.

Watching our girl learn and grow--climb and draw and sword fight and laugh and joke and discover and explore and try new things--and never ever question whether she is enough: it's the most beautiful treasure to witness. Her little body--her strong and mushy and delicate and beautiful body--is the most precious treasure to hold. And her spirit--which burns bright in her eyes and right into my heart--is a treasure straight from heaven.

Having a newborn is the luckiest.  But having a one year old is the best.

Thanks so much for stopping by... leave me some love if you're glad you did.

xo, a.