reading lately

some of what we've been reading lately...

for the pups:

Global Babies -- a favorite of Owen's, a favorite of Bob's at this age.  babies love babies, simple as that.  and what a beautiful way to introduce our littlest ones to different cultures.

One Year Devotions for Preschoolers -- we read these most days at lunch.  bob loves them and usually begs me to read a few extras each day.  every entry has a brief vignette, a Bible verse, and a two-line rhyming prayer.  all very simple and sweet, with focus on loving Jesus, being a good friend, beginning to understand God.  no scary stories or frightening illustrations, just good points for preschoolers to think about.

The Amazing Adventures of Bumblebee Boy -- picked this one up at the library last week and we've read it a hundred times since.  a great story about (not) playing with a younger sibling, whose name happens to be owen!  bob loves all things superhero, so of course he loves it.  he reads owen's lines in his Owie voice; cutest thing ever -- except when Owie grins and points at "himself" on the pages.

for me:

The Alchemist -- okay, I can't believe I just finally got around to reading this (and only because ben picked it off the shelf first!)  at jasmine's bequesting (I know that's not a word but i think it is) I borrowed it from kara approximately 8-10 years ago.  and i wish i had read it way back then because it is amazing.  so good.  i could provide you with a hundred quotations to go along with my assessment, but i'll refrain.  if you're the only person besides me who hasn't read this yet, you need to.

Letters to a Young Poet -- as soon as i finished the alchemist i needed to read this one.  i've read it several times already and each time it speaks to me.  another must, as far as i'm concerned -- and not just for poets.  rilke's words on sadness, on solitude, on God: profound.

The Mister Rogers Parenting Resource Book -- it's actually two books in one: The Mister Rogers Parenting Book (Helping to Understand Your Young Child) and Mister Rogers' Playtime (Encourage Your Child to Create, Explore, and Pretend with Dozens of Easy to Do Activities).  I picked this up at a library book sale when Bob was a baby and recently pulled it off the shelf to read.  The first half is great -- with an emphasis on understanding and appreciating and working with your child instead of just getting them to comply with your demands.  While Rogers' words are clearly rooted in the soil of unconditional parenting, he is much less confrontational about it than say, Alfie Kohn.  It's a very reader friendly book, with short digestible chapters.  The second half is filled with simple activities -- some are great ideas and some I know my son in particular has no interest in whatsoever.

so that's that.  any good reads lately?

don't cry over spilled milk.

so:  Bob spilled a cup of milk at the table this morning (we have this struggle lately: he wants a grown up cup, not a sippy cup, but he's... rambunctious... and he spills his milk.  often.  it can be infuriating.)  when it happens i usually repeat to myself, 'don't cry over spilled milk' and keep calm.  but sometimes, you know, like after you've urged him over and over to please just drink his milk and he still hasn't and then it spills everywhere, there is a temptation to just lose it and really make the boy feel the rage, to rant that he will never again use a grown up cup until he is in fact an actual grown up!  but today, despite the stars being aligned for a meltdown, I held back.  as I scooped him quickly from his milk-sogged seat he said, "I'm really, really sorry.  It was a.. really.. good accident!"  I had to laugh and couldn't stop.  "What?  Why are you laughing?! ... Heh, heh.  I love you, Mommy."  And then I knew for sure that I'd been right in holding back.  Because the relationship is more important than a mess.  Strike that.  The relationship is most important.  So, I clean up some milk still chuckling, and then pour a little more into his glass.  "Okay, Bub, but you're not off the hook here.  Stand here and drink all this milk up until it's gone."  Enter the beginning of another breakdown from Bob because the two ounces I poured are sooooo much.  (I'm not the milk nazi or anything, it's just that Bob is tiny and I've decided I need to start making him finish his glass of milk, that's all.)  Again, I easily could have lost it on him.  Seriously, more crying!!??  But instead I quickly hushed him and said, "Hey, Bob, remember when you just spilled that milk but I didn't throw a fit and I stayed happy because I love you?  Could you respect me the same way and just drink your milk?"  And he wiped his face with his hands and pulled it together and drank up all his milk.  and it felt good, because he felt loved the entire time, and I felt lovable the entire time, and the situation worked out positively for both of us, and maybe he learned just a bit more empathy and patience, and so did I.  Intimidation may be an effective tactic for getting children to comply, but not to learn.  When we yell at our children because they aren't doing something we want them to when we want them to or they've just done something we didn't like, we sound exactly like the three year old who screams because we won't let him skip dinner to play.  or when we moan, "why are you whining!?"  yep, that's adult whining.

and that's all she wrote.

on mother's day

being a mom is simply beautiful.  

a dream come true, really.
a dream from the time when i received my very first cabbage patch doll and returned the birth certificate with pride.
a dream from the times of my relentless feeding and diaper changing of baby alive.
a dream from the times when i had twelve imaginary kids with names and personalities who were all mine to take care of.
a dream from the times when i played house with my little next door neighbor and pretended he was my baby.
a dream from the years i spent nannying countless babies and children and falling in love with so many of them.
a dream from the moments i held my baby nieces and nephew and saw glimpses of their future cousins in their eyes.

it's planted in us from the very beginning i think -- this need to be a mama, this need to mother.  this need to love deeply and fully, and to care for another and put them first.  i have lots of friends who aren't mamas to their own babies, but still they are some of the best mamas i know.  mamas to me and so many others.  feeding, clothing, waking, lifting, hugging, talking, listening.  i hope i've mothered them back, but i fear i've fallen short as a friend these days.  partly because i'm just so focused on my family -- on these little people who seem to need me every minute.

nothing, nothing in this world could be more precious to me than these little ones of mine.  nothing matters like this, this chance to teach these little souls the way they should go.

and i feel so lucky to be the mom of these boys.  to me, they are completely awesome and perfect and they amaze me every single day.  i love filling journal pages and blog posts with their little bits and pieces -- because i want to remember their little selves, but also because i want them to remember their little selves.  i don't want them to forget this feeling of wonder that is childhood or this simple and total love they have for me or the way i so fiercely love them.  i want them to remember how much they love each other and know where they began together.

i'm thankful every single day for this beautiful summer season of motherhood.  i want to be my best for my boys and to soak every drop of them up.

that said, i want to extend myself a bit this year.  to use what i've learned as a mom to be a better mama to my friends, to my mom, to my grandmothers, to my nieces.  {and to ease owen off the boob to make that more possible!}