an easy toddler monster project

I've got a dozen posts started -- some in my draft pile and some just in my brain -- but my jumbled mind just hasn't been letting me finish any of them.

But... today is my day of super productivity!  And I don't want to let another pass without accomplishing something here, so... I'll just do a quick easy one.  A quick, easy post.  Featuring a quick, easy, Halloween-y project for littles.

This was Owen's project at table time yesterday; so simple it's perfect for the toddler set.

Here's what we did...

Cut five half sheets of neon printer paper into strips.
Drizzle some good ol' elmer's glue all over a piece of black construction paper.
Let the kiddo have at it: sticking the paper strips wherever he pleases until he covers the page.
Glue four more strips hanging over the edge as arms and legs.
Cut out eyes and mouth from another piece of black construction paper and excess strips.
Stick them on.
Pick up your monster, say "Rahh!" and scare the crap out of the baby who just made it.

Seriously, poor Owie -- he is terrified of his final product.  I have never seen him so afraid of anything. So you might want to make the eyes and mouth a little nicer looking if you try this with your sensitive types.

Owen's first haircut + our messy home

I've read a post on almost every single one of the big blogs I read that goes something like, "People wonder how I do it all, but believe me, I don't.  My house isn't always this clean, I don't always look this fabulous, blah blah blah..."  Well, here's a post in those ranks (although it's completely unnecessary here I'm sure, because I never post pictures of my clean house or fabulous self).  A post that is certain not to make you jealous.

Owen had his first haircut a couple-few weeks ago.  More of a trim really... no before and after pics because honestly the untrained eye wouldn't even see the difference.

There you have it: a peek into this disaster zone we call home and this real-life life we live.

May you feel just a little bit better about your own self today!  Because you know what?  If you are reading this, you are awesome.  Period.

it's rough being a second child

Bobby never once fell asleep in his high chair.

But when you're the second child...

... you're too busy trying to keep up with big bro to take a morning nap most of the time

... your mom's too busy trying to keep up with both of you to notice you're about to go down

... and henceforth you fall asleep during meals on a regular basis.  (Or at least three times.  Sometimes mom reaches in to save you just before you lose consciousness.)

Poor Owie Bowie.

Painting with watercolors

Every time we've done this it's gotten messier and messier.

Until last time it really got out of hand...

No worries... it washes right off.

A short-lived friendship

Bob just found a ladybug on the screen door.

First he knocked it down.  Then he dropped to the floor himself to get a better look.  Then he called out, "pet, pet!" and very softly petted the ladybug with his open palm.  Then he picked it up and said, "Hug way-buh!" and held the ladybug tightly to his chest.  Then he put it down, and picked it up again, and put it down, and picked it up again.  And then he popped the ladybug in his mouth and before I could stop him he chewed it up and swallowed it.  And when it was all down he smiled and said, "Mmmm!"

Getting his bearings

It's fun to watch Bob figure out how to work that tiny little body of his.

Walking he's pretty much mastered, running he's beginning to learn, climbing he's getting better and better at.  Standing himself up he can do no problem (most of the time), but he still uses the tripod method.

when facing downhill, that can be very challenging.

"why didn't you help me, mom?"

almost stuck the standing 

Today we went to the park.  Bob's pants were very slippery.  But Bob is a champ.



The snow is mostly gone and it's beginning to look like spring at last.

My husband is handsome and I love him like crazy.

Happy weekend!

How to avoid a speeding ticket by driving your vehicle into a ditch

Yesterday afternoon I got pulled over for speeding.  Hasn't happened to me for a while; I've been good.  Driving alone in the car, I must have been in a daze of thought and my foot got a little heavy on the pedal... plus a car had just passed me and when that happens the suppressed racer in me can't help but speed up... but whatever, I digress.

I didn't even see the trooper until I noticed the lights flashing in my rearview mirror.  I half hoped that they weren't flashing for me, but I knew they were.  Being startled as I was, I tried to pull over too quickly, and I slid on the snow at the edge of the road and right off the road into the snow bank.  I tried to back out a little so I wouldn't look like such a fool, but it was no use; my tires were stuck on the lip of the road, and the snow was too slippery to get any traction on, and my Jeep was basically wedged into the snow bank.

One of the troopers came up to my window -- a young, nice looking guy.  "I am so stupid," I said with my most embarrassed and pitiful smile.  "I tried to pull over too fast and I slid into the bank and I'm stuck."

"Yeah, I saw that," he said laughing.

"And you know what else?  I don't have my license on me.  But I do have my registration."  I went digging for the papers.  "Was I speeding?"

"Yeah, we gotcha at 70."

"Oh man, I am so sorry.  I feel like such an idiot."

"Don't worry about it.  Let me take care of this and we'll get you out of here."

So he went back to his car and I proceeded to pray: "Dear Lord, please send me a little mercy.  Please let this statey's heart be as beautiful as his smile.  Please."  Then I tried again to dislodge my vehicle, but couldn't.

Finally he returned.  "Well the good news is, we're not giving you a speeding ticket, because we felt bad for you.  I just wrote you a ticket for having an obstructed plate because yours is dirty.  You won't get any points on your license or anything."

Phew.  Pheeeewwwww.  Seriously.  Speeding tickets are so expensive with the insurance premium hikes and whatnot.  So I thanked the officer profusely, and then he and his partner spent 20 minutes trying to push my car out of the ditch.  From the front, then the back, then the front.  Muddy snow from my tires spraying all over their uniforms.  I kept laughing and saying "thank you guys so much, you are sooooo nice."  But in the end, the edge of the pavement was too much for us so I called Herbie, who called Chuck of Chuck's Towing, who came to rescue me.  And thus my good fortune made my humiliation totally worth it.

Very important lesson learned: to avoid a speeding ticket when the cops are pulling you over, just drive your car into a snowbank or ditch or other hazard and then smile cutely and repeat over and over how dumb you are and the kindly officers will pity you and let you off.

Our first fight

(This was September 13.  It wasn't really a fight.  He's just a baby, after all.)

Dear Bob,

A little while ago I yelled at you for the first time.  You will not lay still for a diaper change.  Sometimes (rarely) it's fun: I tickle and roll you and exclaim "get back over here!" while we both laugh.  Sometimes, like today, it is not fun because you smear your poo everywhere.  Today you happened to be wearing one of my very favorite outfits which happens to be lime green and white striped and not so resistant to poo stains.  And so when you squirmed and squished your mushy poo all up your back, I yelled.  Well, maybe yell isn't even the right word.  I raised my voice.  "That's it.  Sit still, you little poo smearer!"  You started crying.  "Cry.  I don't even care, because I'm mad at you!  Why can't you just be still for 60 seconds so that I can use just two wipes instead of 45 and I don't have to finagle a poopy one piece outfit over your head?  You are ruining your cutest garment."  You cried harder, and you started moaning "na-na-na-na" which I am beginning to understand to mean "nurse-nurse" or "night-night" aka "I really want to go to sleep now."  You skipped your morning nap today.  And my angry voice put you over the top.  So then I started feeling bad.  I hugged you and kissed you and said nice sweet things.  You kept crying and whining "na-na" until my boob was in your mouth for your pre-nap nursing.  Don't worry, buddy, I wasn't really mad at you.  I was just frustrated.  I won't raise my voice again.  It doesn't help.

With so much love,

Mom

Poop on the playground

Bobby's favorite thing to do at the park nowadays is play with the wood chips.  He loves them so much, what's the harm, right?

Yeah, except the other day when he was playing with the wood chips directly beneath the jungle gym, I looked away for a second and smelled a waft of poo in the air.  When I looked back at Bob, he was HOLDING a piece of DOG SHIT with wood chips stuck all over it.  (Pardon the profanity, but I don't think "poo-poo" has quite the right effect here.)  I screamed and knocked it to the ground, but it was too late -- my baby already had dog poop on his fingers.  I washed them off under the spigot at the park, but I had to walk all the way home pinning Bobby's hands to his sides to keep him from putting them in his mouth.  So disgusting.  Maybe I shouldn't be letting him play in the wood chips.

But really... Who, first of all, lets their dog poop in the children's play area, and second, doesn't even pick it up!?  I'd like to rub some poo in that person's face.

PS.  Are you surprised I didn't take a picture of Bob holding the poop?  I'm sure Ben is.