on mother's day

being a mom is simply beautiful.  

a dream come true, really.
a dream from the time when i received my very first cabbage patch doll and returned the birth certificate with pride.
a dream from the times of my relentless feeding and diaper changing of baby alive.
a dream from the times when i had twelve imaginary kids with names and personalities who were all mine to take care of.
a dream from the times when i played house with my little next door neighbor and pretended he was my baby.
a dream from the years i spent nannying countless babies and children and falling in love with so many of them.
a dream from the moments i held my baby nieces and nephew and saw glimpses of their future cousins in their eyes.

it's planted in us from the very beginning i think -- this need to be a mama, this need to mother.  this need to love deeply and fully, and to care for another and put them first.  i have lots of friends who aren't mamas to their own babies, but still they are some of the best mamas i know.  mamas to me and so many others.  feeding, clothing, waking, lifting, hugging, talking, listening.  i hope i've mothered them back, but i fear i've fallen short as a friend these days.  partly because i'm just so focused on my family -- on these little people who seem to need me every minute.

nothing, nothing in this world could be more precious to me than these little ones of mine.  nothing matters like this, this chance to teach these little souls the way they should go.

and i feel so lucky to be the mom of these boys.  to me, they are completely awesome and perfect and they amaze me every single day.  i love filling journal pages and blog posts with their little bits and pieces -- because i want to remember their little selves, but also because i want them to remember their little selves.  i don't want them to forget this feeling of wonder that is childhood or this simple and total love they have for me or the way i so fiercely love them.  i want them to remember how much they love each other and know where they began together.

i'm thankful every single day for this beautiful summer season of motherhood.  i want to be my best for my boys and to soak every drop of them up.

that said, i want to extend myself a bit this year.  to use what i've learned as a mom to be a better mama to my friends, to my mom, to my grandmothers, to my nieces.  {and to ease owen off the boob to make that more possible!}